Heart Thoughts

Last week after church Daniel and I were at Chili's in Tienmu. That place is such a little culinary haven treat for us :) We were sitting at the bar (it was a busy day at the restaurant!) and a couple with a beautiful little baby girl came and sat beside us. Their little girl was just darling and she was wearing a "Made in Taiwan" T-shirt. The couple met some friends and the women shared with them that their daughter will be one in Dec. It hit me that this little girl was the same age as Isla would be if she were here with us. Trying not the stare at the little girl too much, I just looked at the picture of the family beside us. They apologized to us for their daughters squeals of delight. Daniel and I just smiled and said it's wonderful to hear. In my heart I thought of the longing I had to hear Isla's yelps of baby delight and discovery around her. Daniel and I may still look like a family of two. But in our hearts we truly are a family of three.

My heart continues to ache for our dear Isla Noelle. This year has been the hardest year of life. What a very different journey we would be on. I have learned a lot through these continued months of grieving. I've learned that grieving is a journey that continues. It's not just something you get over and go on from. It's apart of each day and it still hits me in different ways. There is great joy at thinking of the hope of heaven we have, and we truly have so much to hold on to. But I still struggle. I still struggle with the "what ifs" and "whys", and "if onlys" at times. I continue to battle with disappointment and my own journey with the Lord. Thankfully I know who holds the victory. I do delight in God's presence and His word, but at times I'm numb to it and such pad answers and sayings. May I keep running toward the Lord! I'm thankful for how far we've come, and I know that God still has much more ahead of us.

I've had many purples pepper posts in my mind these past months, and I really hope I can start getting some up again. It's time to purple pepperize again! :)

Thank you for reading (or checking in on the blog again) and for continuing to journey with us.